yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
