i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
