I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
