Small penises have feelings too.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
