I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
