I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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