I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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