ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We had to coat check the pizza.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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