i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
