ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize