I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
