Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
