Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
