Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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