saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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