I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
