Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize