I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
