I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
