i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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