he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
