Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
