Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
