Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize