Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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