The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
