i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
