i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
