Do vagina's smell?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
