I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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