a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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