So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
