I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
