i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
