My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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