Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
