I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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