i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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