i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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