If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
