so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
