Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
