i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
