I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
