when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
