Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize