is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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