She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize