I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize