My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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