Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
