when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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