In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
