whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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