Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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