is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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