My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
