At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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