just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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