We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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